is your mom at the bar?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
