is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
