Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize