But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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