Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
