David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
