If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
