She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize