Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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