Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
