i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize