so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
