We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Damn victory sex feels great
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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