i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
