she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
