i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
