I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
