Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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