Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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