he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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