The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
