as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize