he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
