Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
