not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
