So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
