we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
