I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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