im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Couch. On fire.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize