Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
