It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
