Whod you bang
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
