you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
