doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i now understand why vodka
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize