you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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