a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
