i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
