Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ok first of all what the fuck
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
