Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
