Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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