Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
