I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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