RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
