boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
