# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
