i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
