my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
