I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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