is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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