I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
