would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
