Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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