Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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