I don't remember. Are we still dating?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
