Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
