He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
