Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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