He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
