they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize