just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
