Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They took my balls.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
50% drunk capacity currently
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
