so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
