Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
