Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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