she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
