AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize