Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
