My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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