I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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