So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
