So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize