At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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