that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
