She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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