So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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