What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
