I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
