I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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