they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
