i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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