I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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