I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
