I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
