How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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