are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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