Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
